To be completely honest, I have been struggling. Going through the pre-operation process while in quarantine has been pretty difficult. Prior to the quarantine, I had a solid routine, I was going to my pre-op appointments and logging my food daily and as a result, I was seeing progress (not very significant, but it was still progress) and then suddenly everything changed.

Due to my weight and other medical issues, I am considered high risk and with all the unknowns, especially at the very beginning of this pandemic, it was very important for me to stay at home as long as possible. I started teleworking on March 17th, and I kept both of the kids home from daycare. I have to say that I am extremely thankful that my employer had the technical capability to implement teleworking so early on and that I was able to continue to work and earn a living during this crazy uncertain time. 

My husband works for the hospital and is considered an essential worker, which means he is not home as much as I want him to be. So on top of working full-time from home and trying to make the transition from office to home as seamless as possible, I was also homeschooling my five-year old, taking care of my toddler, cooking, cleaning and taking care of the house. In the midst of all of this madness, I still tried to count my calories and stay as healthy as possible, but I stopped logging my food intake on MyFitnessPal.

As someone that is a self-proclaimed perfectionist, I tried to do my absolute best and wear all of these different hats at the same time without showing any struggle, but my body started to give me signs that things were not okay and that maybe I needed to slow down. At the end of May, I took three days off of work to recharge, but instead of relaxing, I was trying to jam pack everything into that work-free time: coming up with a new toy organization system, taking on DIY projects, organizing and decluttering the kitchen and the pantry, deep cleaning every inch of my house - and my body just had enough. I developed this rash that appeared out of nowhere and was all over my chest, face and arms. 

Thankfully, I did not have any other symptoms. After speaking to my doctor and the urgent care physician, I decided that due to the coronavirus, it would be best to wait and see if the rash spreads and if I develop any other symptoms. The rash was pretty persistent, but it did not spread. It took about two weeks, but the rash is finally gone! 

I honestly think that my body was having a reaction to the astronomical amount of stress that I placed on my self by trying to be absolutely perfect at everything. Even though I was extremely stressed, I did not let it show. I just kept a smile on my face and suppressed all the struggle and worry inside, and I think this rash was a manifestation of all of that coming to the surface, literally. It was a wake-up call and I realized that I needed to take a step back. I had this thought about when the quarantine finally ends, what will I have to show for being home all of this time. I now realize that just because I am physically home does not mean that I have to complete every single DIY project on my list or deep clean every inch of my house, or organize every single aspect of this home in order to feel accomplished. I honestly see that being able to sustain a full-time job from home, while taking care of my kids and making sure they are happy and healthy is more than enough, and anything else added to that list is just a wonderful bonus. 

Since I am all about honesty, I have to admit that I almost did not start this Sleeve Truth blog, because I wanted so badly to have everything in my life be in this absolute perfect order before I started writing again. I now know that if I waited for that perfect order, I would have never started writing at all. I realize that I do not need this unattainable perfection just to begin living and loving  life. I am trying to use this blog as my creative outlet, and my goal is to write a blog post biweekly and connect with others going through this experience. Instead of suppressing everything inside, I really would like to share my truth (along with the lessons learned) in the hopes that it offers some guidance or reflection to others on variety of topics.

Thank you so much for reading my first full blog post! Please let me know your strategies for coping with stress, especially during this pandemic.